My third day at the beach, I was determined to live as completely and richly as I could. I wanted every sensation to be heightened and enjoyed to the fullest. I had so much fun swimming, walking, eating my snack and drinking fresh water from my cooler (which I had forgotten the day before). I watched crabs and gulls and little fishies. I delighted in every little thing. And when the waves got bigger, I got more bold. I swam further out than I dared, and I rode the waves back. I nearly drowned twice caught unawares by two really big ones. But I loved every minutes of it...feeling like I didn't know up or down, feeling sea water filling my nose and mouth and pouring down into my gut, gagging, wondering if I would ever see the light of day again...and then coughing and laughing at the same time as I came up wondering if I hadn't lost a limb out there somewhere, my eyes and throat stinging with salt.
That day, I realized that since the "dribbling neighbors incident", I had been wearing a smile on my face almost the entire time. I even caught myself thinking "I better tone it down! I'm gonna freak people out!" and immediately corrected that and thought, "NOT!" It was funny how much internal dialogue the smile on my face stirred. "Maybe I'm not really this happy. Maybe I'm faking it. This can't be right!" Ha! There was so much to smile about! "Wow! This is me happy! Dielle is happy!"
That evening, I had what I almost hesitate to try and write about because it was so beyond wordly description, and yet it was what felt like my whole reason for being there. Baba said, "I come not to teach but to awaken." That evening, I had my awakening.
Next: Awakening
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