3 Steps to Freeing Your Voice

It's been quite awhile since I've written a post on this blog. I've been taking the easy albeit still valuable way out of posting fabulous videos. But I think the time has come to talk about our collective fear of the voice.

I recently met a woman who near broke into tears just speaking with me about what I do. Just talking about singing and expressing herself freely was enough to ignite her deepest fears underneath which hid her deepest longings.

Why are we so frightened by our own voices? Why do we judge the way we sound on an answering machine? What is that fear that keeps our mouths so tightly closed when we really, really want to speak? Why do we deny ourselves the joy of singing along? Maybe you don't. Maybe you've managed to break through the myriad inhibiting beliefs, and you've set your voice free. But if you haven't been one of the lucky ones, then what?

So, first, the whys. And then on to the "then what?"

At some point in our lives, we have experienced "the clamp". It is a defining moment or moments when we learned it simply wasn't safe to open our mouths. Either we were yelled at or physically abused, ostracized, or humiliated for something we said. Regardless of the details of the situation, we realized that we could instantly lose love by something as simple as making a sound.

And then, along the way, we come to realize that we can also use our voice to stir a bit of trouble. We can speak words that trigger others...sometimes hurting those we love most. We learn that we have a rather interesting power at our disposal. Yield it one way, and it becomes a deadly weapon. Yield it another, and it is a fine tool. Either way, it is something over which we must exert the utmost control. Or so we believe.

And hence, the fear we have today...one so complex and intertwined with so many of our root beliefs that it is quite a challenge to free ourselves from our self-imposed prisons. But we can free ourselves. We must free ourselves! Because our voice is our power to create and express Life!

Step One
So the first step in overcoming our fear is an assessment of where we stand now. Do you like the sound of your voice? If not, why not? Do you allow yourself to speak up? In what kinds of situations do you "clamp it". Do you sing? Where and how? And if not, why not? What do you believe about how you sound? Is it true? Who says? Do you want your freedom?

Step Two
Once you answer "yes" to that last question, you can take the next step of watching yourself. This is a period in which you know you want to change, but you don't hold unrealistic expectations for yourself. You simply watch yourself repeating old habits. You are learning the lay of the land, so to speak, so you can figure out where to take action in the next step.

Step Three
Once you become aware, then you can begin to take steps to change your habits. Take baby steps if necessary. Hum along to the songs that play while you grocery shop. Sing along to your music collection as loud as you dare. Allow yourself to say "ouch!" when you bump your elbow. Keep saying it until the pain goes away. Keep moving into your fear, and you'll find it evaporating like fog. The light of your voice will lead you to the other side.

And what's there? You'll find immense joy and pleasure. You'll find a liberty and strength within you you never knew existed. You'll find that you are a creative being with a beautiful voice!